Tuesday, January 26, 2010

It’s Over…Ain’t It?

edited to add the links in that I forgot about the back story.
I had this fabulous {at least it’s fabulous to me} craft ready to post today but instead something else was on my mind….
If you’ve been reading my blog for a while {since at least Winter 2008} then you know that my father and I don’t have any kind of relationship left.  You can read all about it here, here, here, here. if you are lost as to what I am referring too.  Long story short in case you don’t want to go and read about it.  *If you know the story you can skip over the italicized wording*
My mother passed away in Oct ‘08 due to complications of Pneumonia.  She had been suffering for a long time with Myasthenia Gravis and was living in a nursing home.  During the last month my mother was in the nursing home/hospital while on her death bed my father was “talking”  to another woman.  Whom befriended him on supposedly my mothers behalf.  She also has MG and was “lending” a hand.  Well I found out all this the weekend after my mother passed away. 
There was a long period of no communicating and then he came down to our house for Christmas.  We spoke sporadically afterwards.  In Jan ‘09 he went off to GA and got remarried. 
I then was on EBAY back during the summer and ran across her EBAY acct and found where she was selling quilts that my great grandmother had made. I didn’t call my father to question him, I instead called my sister n law, who told my brother.  Things went down from there where my father and his wife hired a lawyer and what not for the life estate for the house he was living in and what not.
We have no spoke since July of last year.
OK.  So I sent him a Christmas card this year because Kayla ask me too and I didn’t want to not include him some how in our Christmas.  One week later I received one back.  A week after that a package arrived for the girls for Christmas.  Inside were two quilts, one for Kayla the other for Kelsie.  She had made these for the girls.  While this was a wonderful thought.  It was in a way wrong.  Here it was they had sold quilts that my great grandmother had made…well you get the picture.
{deleted paragraph due to legal reasons}
Am I surprised that he {daddy} didn’t call?  Yes and no.  Yes, because I figured for sure that things would have went sour between him and her.  And no because I knew that the only communicating is to be done through attorneys now. 
Is the relationship over?  I think it is.  We are legally entitled now to charge rent.  Which we plan to put into action.  Will we patch things up?  I don’t see it happening.  I know that my kids are heart broken.  They miss their granddaddy.  Kayla knows everything that has happened.  But still in her little heart she loves her granddaddy and wants him to be in our lives.  Kelsie is just devastated that we don’t see granddaddy anymore and that she can’t talk to him on the phone.
Would it have been this way if things would have been different?  No.  If he would have remarried even in Jan.  Fine and dandy.  But the fact is we found out that he was “talking” to this lady prior to mothers death.  While she was in the hospital for goodness sake. 
My feelings are hurt.  The kids feelings are hurt.  My brothers feelings are hurt {and that’s is his step dad}.  My sister n laws feelings are hurt.  You get the picture.  We have all been hurt deeply by what has happened.
Daddy and I had gotten so close while mother was sick.  We talked on the phone every night for at least an hour.  I would call during the day and talk to him too.  He had become a best friend.  It was great to share a relationship like that with my daddy.  I miss him so much.  In all honesty, my mother passed away but I feel like my daddy did too.  I feel like that this is it.  It’s over and will never be again.


momof3girls said...

My heart broke as you shared your story! The hurt you and your family are feeling must be overwhelming. I will keep you and yours in my prayers - you never know what the future holds! There is a tomorrow!

Courtney said...

I'm sorry you are hurting. I can't imagine what you are feeling right now. Sending prayers your way. Hope this gets better!!

Susie from Bienvenue said...

I think it's the new "woman" that's making your Dad do these things. I know fist hand what a woman can do between a daughter and a Dad.Been there ..doing that.
I can remember when I first started reading your blog I saw the love between your Mom..Dad...and one another. After your Mom passed I know how you hurt when He took up house with the other "woman". Pray girlfriend like there is no tommorow that your Dad comes to his senses and sees what he's missing out on. I will be praying for all of you. Hang in there~
ps...I would charge rent too ;)

~The Robin's Nest~ said...

That's just sad Joanna.

I really like and agree with what Susie wrote.

What I have learned in life is that some things can turn on a dime. One second they are one way, the next totally different. Hold on to hope for a better tomorrow.


MOM OF 2 said...

I am sorry you have to go through this. My heart breaks for you.

Beth in NC said...

This is so horrible. I am sorry. I'm sure it does seem like both of your parents are gone.

I pray that somehow God restores your relationship. I don't know how, but He does.


Lamp Tramp said...

I'm so sorry this has still haunting you. Your dad is not thinking. period. at all. shame on him!
Hang in there, sweetie!