Friday, December 12, 2008

The Christmas Blues, But Not the Color

I am not sure what has come over me, but it happens ever so often. Once every few months I just get down. What a time to have it....now....with only 13 days before Christmas!

I am not down so much that I am crying but I do feel the urge. When I am down I eat. Not that I am hungry but for some reason, this is my comfort. I know, somebody must have fed me when I was just a kid when I was sad or got hurt. This is probably the reason that over the past couple of years the scale has went up and not down. When I was in school I got this way but the eating didn't cause any weight gain because I was constantly running up and down 4 floors at school, amongst PE every day.

When I put the clothes on, the feelings get worse....And this is what I have caused. With the strain of finances, clothing becoming too small and my family (not Zack and the girls) the issue with my daddy, and my mothers passing, things are just bad for me.

I normally would go shopping but at this point in time I can not. With the pay cut Zack had at his previous employer we had to buy a lot on credit cards to get us by. Now that he is employed with the government we are catching up, we will start seeing the shore line soon and won't sink anymore. God has provided for us and I am so very greatful. Putting our finanaces in the Lord's hands was very hard for me, because I like to be in control, but it has been for the best.

As far as my downward spiral...I am hoping that after Christmas that I can start to perk up and maybe get in some exercise. Since Kayla is getting a Wii, I am wanting a Wii Fit. Maybe this will help burn off some negative energy and make the comfort eating not have such an impact on me.

As I sit and think there are so many more things that I need to be doing...I haven't even shopped for Zack's Christmas yet! I am headed to the bank after I pick up Kayla and maybe over to Target. Zack wanted a movie that I know of and I know he needs a couple of things. I may even make a stop at Hobby Lobby. HL always makes me feel better! Can't buy anything for myself yet, but I can look! *smiles*

I now have to focus on Christmas and making this time enjoyable for the girls.

Kelsie and I made snowflakes yesterday...I will be posting the pictures in a day or two. And then there are the pine cones that we are going to craft with as well!

3 comments:

Amanda said...

I know the feeling honey. Its not easy all the time that's for sure...and you have had a lot going on. Maybe you should get your mind off things by doing something a little off your normal schedule to get your mind off things? Not sure what...but SOMETHING lol.

Darlene said...

Joanna I am so sorry you are feeling this way. You have had a lot happen though this year. I do hope you can somehow find a way to keep your spirits up and get through this "blue" time during your life. You can definitely always "window shop" at your favorite stores. Here are some long distance hugs for you.♥

Lilith Silvermane said...

Hey honey... ~hugs~

I know it's hard!

Hey... do this! Get your Wii Fit... I'll have my Wii Fit and we can start a workout thing... on our blogs for it! Something to get people (and myself.. My butt is expanding at an alarming rate!)... motivated and support!

Let me know what you think!!