Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Thoughts about Change

Change has a lot of definitions. When you look in the dictionary you’ll find numerous meanings to change but they all basically mean the same thing. 
to make different in some particular
Change is hard.  When your looking to change something it’s usually because your stuck in a pattern of doing something that your not particularly fond of.  Some times change can be from something that you have no control over.  A job or medical condition for example.  But most of the time a change that you decide to make is something that you have put a lot of thought into.  Maybe it’s a habit that your tired of having or a way of life that your living that needs to improve. 
Lately I have sat and thought about changes that I need to make in my life.  Some are silly and mean nothing really and help nobody but myself. Biting my nails for example. This is habit I’d love to break but it’s only going to benefit myself.  Other changes are huge and would impact my children and Zack. 
These changes would help the relationship that I have with my girls.  Changes that would help them grow in more ways than one.  Changes that would improve Zack and my relationship.  Changes that would improve my relationship with God.
Why is change so hard?
Things that I’d like to change which would have a positive impact:
  1. Prayer.  I need to pray more regularly.  I used to lay in bed every night before falling asleep and pray.  I’d pray for forgiveness and I’d pray for health for my family.  I’d just pray. 
  2. Prayer for my girls. I used to make sure that they prayed every night.  I would always remind them to say their prayers.  Now it’s come to telling Kayla when she wakes up with nightmares or reminding Kelsie when she’s had a bad day. 
  3. Devotionals. When we were attending church and Sunday School regularly I would make it appoint to sit down every Saturday night and do our Sunday School lesson for the next day.  This made me feel wonderful.  The kids would always have something from their classes as well that we’d go over and work on.  This taught them about God.  I would love to get into doing weekly devotionals.  I’m not going to go for daily because even though I should set aside time for devotions daily, I don’t want to set myself up for failure.  Setting aside one day a week is completely doable.  If we find it’s easy and quick to get through I am open to adding more days.  This is very important to me since we do not attend church.
  4. Language. This is really the last thing that I want to admit but I have a mouth that would be similar to that of a pirate.  It’s not nice at all.  It’s not that I say “bad” words in everyday conversations.  It’s when I stub my toe or drop something or get mad, I tend to use bad language and the terrible part is, I tend to use it in front of my kids.  I have yet to find an easy way to break this “habit” but I have got to change it.
  5. Temper. When I get mad I yell.  When I get mad I use bad language.  When I get mad I’ve been known to throw objects. {remote controls, phones, toys, clothes}  I have a temper that comes from a long line of family members with tempers.  Heck, my granddaddy almost shot a man over a peanut butter and jelly sandwich! {see, tempers! however, it’s not really the way it sounds, he used to be a Sheriff}  But either way my lashing out is not setting a good example for my kids.  I don’t want them to pick up my bad habits when something doesn’t go as planned.
These are just some major changes that need to be addressed.  So why is change so hard?  Because we are set in our ways.  We live life the way we grew up in it or we just live life the easiest way.
Sometimes I don’t pray at night because I’d much rather just go to sleep without thinking about it.  Even though it would take less than 1 minute to remind the girls to say their nightly prayers, I would rather them just get in bed and fall asleep.  As far as devotionals go, I’ve just never made that time in our week to do them.  I always think, we’re so busy doing X, Y and Z that there is no time.  When in reality I should show my girls that there is always time for God and that when you’ve got a full plate to push something off and make time for Him.  Language and temper.  It’s just easier.  Really.  Especially when you’ve done it for so long.  It’s hard to think about not yelling or not cussing when your upset about something that has happened. 
So even though change is hard, I’m willing to put forth the effort and do it!


Kelli said...

You go girl! I have a great devotional, Jesus Calling...check it out. I need to be better about reading AND meditating on them daily. Night prayers make me fall asleep so I try to pray in the morning, but honestly I pray all day long. Snippets of conversations with God when something upsets me or I need to praise Him. I'll be praying for these changes.

Miller Racing Family said...

Girl I am so with you on change! It is so hard to get in a new system. One of the best books that radically changed our lives was One Month to Live. It will change most every area of your life.
I will be praying for you!