Monday, November 15, 2010

Bitter Sweet Memories

I finally put up the Christmas tree in our bedroom yesterday.  You may or may not remember it from last year but it’s the same.  Same ornaments, same lights, same tree topper, same. same. same.  And that’s the way I like it.
I turned on the holiday/seasonal music channel on the tv and fluffed branches, strung lights and hung up ornament by ornament.  All the while with bitter sweet thoughts raced through my mind.
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As I unwrapped each ornament I thought about where it once hung on my mothers Christmas tree.  You see every ornament on this special tree belonged to my mother.  They used to hang on the Christmas tree that I grew up with as well.  To be honest with y’all, I hated every one of these ornaments when I was growing up.  I wanted something newer, something fun, something that I could relate too.  Sure we had ornaments on our tree that I had made at school or a handful that I had picked out, but I didn’t want these “ugly things” showing their faces.  Mother used to explain to me that one day I’d understand and I would just think to myself “whatever”.  Now that I’m older, I do understand. 
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I love each one of these ornaments more than I ever have before.  They hold a special place in my heart and always will.  I don’t want them on my main tree because I don’t want any chances of them getting broke.  I figure in our bedroom they are safe. 
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I wished that my momma were still here because I know that she could tell me more about these ornaments and whose trees they hung on when she was growing up, whether it was hers or her grandmothers.  I also know that she’d be proud that I hung them with care and cherished them now rather than despise them like I once had.
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It was bitter sweet as I had everything fixed up and old Christmas songs rang out through the bedroom.  I was happy and sad all at once.  I miss my mother and wished that she were here to see “her” tree and to spend Christmas morning here at our house.
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Anonymous said...

Reading this made me cry! I feel the exact same as you do! Every ornament that I have now that will be hanging on our Christmas tree in another week belonged to my mother and grandmother. A lot of the ornaments that I still use, my mother and grandmother made. I cannot and will not ever part with any of those. Like yours, they old a special place in my heart and I can see them on every tree that we had growing up. I too wish my mother were here, but I know my mom and your mom are having too much fun gossiping and probably laughing at us right now! OR they are eating fried chicken liver going to the library LOL

A-K said...

That is precious, and I am so glad you are able to see her when you look at that tree. Such great memories. I miss her a lot too, and I know you wish she could be here. She would be very proud of you and your family!!! Huuuuugs!

Nichole @ The Pumpkin Seed said...

Your tree is beautiful. I think it's wonderful that you have something that was so special to your mom.