Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Gotta Get On the Ball…

This post has nothing to do with decorating and this post has nothing to do with crafting…this post is a promise to myself….a promise to do better.

Last spring I did so well, I joined an online competition to lose weight.  I was over weight at the time and this was something that I needed to get my behind in gear.  The winner would win money, and this was the exact motivation I needed.  For some reason,  getting healthy and looking and feeling better wasn’t motivation enough. 

The competition ended with me winning.  Yep, I beat out however many other ladies involved.  I was thrilled with not only the money but my new 23 pound lighter physique. 

Now let’s fast forward 6 months later….I have gained back all 23 pounds.  UGH!  Not only that, but I have also gained some with it.  Do I know how much?  No way, I have yet to even look at a scale.  I am too ashamed.  I am ashamed because after working out twice a day for months and watching what I ate, I turned around and stopped all together.  It was all my fault.  I remember looking back and having gained 10 pounds and thought, 10 pounds, no big deal.  And so on until 18 pounds and that was it, I was sick to my stomach that all my hard work didn’t really pay off.

I have come to the conclusion that this is something deeper.  I am an extremely emotional eater.  I eat not only to survive but I eat because I am bored, sad, happy, sleepy, angry, “in the mood”, etc.  Why?  I don’t know.  I can’t pin point the reason behind this emotional eating.  But I also know that I have another underlying problem.  It’s not the food but the satisfaction that I get from eating.  I have tried chewing gum because this is something to sorta focus on, but it doesn’t work.  I need to actually swallow the gum to feel satisfied. 

How in the world did I get to this point?  I was never this way in school.  I floated between 125 and 130 in school.  When I would get to 130, my mind just said nope and for a week or so I wouldn’t eat certain foods or if I did I wouldn’t eat much of them and I’d be back to 125. 

I find myself eating ALL the time.  And I find myself upset about it ALL the time. 

I have got to stop, I want to be happy with myself, but I also want to be healthy.  I want to stop being so tired and miserable all the time.  I want to be energetic. 

I am at the point where now I am going to do something about my misery.  I am going to sit down with my workout dvd’s and wii games and make out a schedule and stick to it.  I have got to focus on a reward because the money was my motivation back in the spring.  So I have got to have something extreme to look forward too.

Some ideas for my rewards:

  • a spa pedicure
  • a massage
  • date movie night
  • new outfit
  • new shoes
  • new decorative item

These are all something I’d love to have and don’t get on a monthly basis.  I think that I’ll set the goal for every 30 days that I stick to my plan..working out, eating right and losing at least 5 pounds a month.  This puts me losing at least 1.25 pounds a week.  This should not be hard at all if I work at it.  I am not going to work out twice a day like I did in the competition.  That was SO extreme.  I am also going to allow myself one day a week to eat whatever I want to eat in moderation.  I can not deprive myself of food like before. 

Now, since this is my blog, I will be updating as I go.  I have got to have some where to write and to vent and maybe even cry at.  This is it. 

I am going to start Monday…New Year…I will do this.  Do I have a goal weight?  Not really.  I do know I want to lose what I have gained.  I also know that come this weekend I will have to do a photo and hop on the scale.  {yikes!}


Kelli said...

My friends and I were talking about getting in shape last night (over cheesecake). It is hard but I know you can do it. I've prayed for obedience and discipline and I hope I can come through. Go you!

Amanda said...

You can do it honey! I think having a reward to look forward to is a GREAT idea!

Nikki said...

You can do it! I'll be right there with you as soon as I have this baby in about 6 wks.

Heatherlyn said...

You are right that doing anything is a lot about the proper motivation. I hope that you find it in a way that enables you to simply create a new lifestyle for yourself so that you don't have to particularly worry about it ever again! Don't ever give up. Your health is worth it!

Becca said...

Good for you! I recently used the Serotonin Power Diet, which I know sounds a little weird, but it's actually a great one. Basically, they have you eat carbs at specific times (mostly before meals) and it helps your body create serotonin, which turns off your appetite. I've always been one of those people that had to be snacking on something, partially because I was hypoglycemic. But, since I used this diet, I don't feel that nagging need to eat something, and I'm actually not even hypoglycemic anymore (not sure how that happened, but it did). Anyway, there's nothing funky with this diet -- no supplements or pills, and it actually follows the food guide pyramid almost to a tee. Plus, you get to eat lots of carbs! Ok, I'm rambling :). Anyway, I lost about 40 lbs in 6 months on it and have not put it back on. The website is (although the website doesn't really have enough info on it to get you going; you really have to buy the book). The authors of the book are totally accessible if you have questions; I've emailed them several times and they wrote back within 2-3 hours. Anyway, as you can see, I've been very impressed by this eating plan, and I've never felt better or had more energy than I do now. If you're really interested in losing weight and keeping it off, I'd really recommend checking it out. It's based on sound research and has made me a much happier person. Good luck and God bless!

Wendy said...

Good luck!!

My problem is Ive NEVER been able to stick with it. But Im determined this time!