But I’m not sure she was referring to days like this. I think that she was referring to the days where the kids would drive me crazy or when plans don’t work out the way that you’d hoped. Or even the frustrations of house work. Or that marriage isn’t always happy bliss like you imagine.
I don’t think she was referring to the days where my heart would ache for her. Where I wished more than anything that I could pick up the phone and call her to tell her about my day. Where I could just complain about Zack or the girls’ recent sibling rivalries or tell her how excited I am about vacation.
My momma has been gone for 3 years this coming October and not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought about her. Recently it’s been more often. There are wonderful things that have happened that I’d love to call her up and tell her about. There are things that I’d love to ask her about from when I was growing up. And ask her questions about my family history. I know so much but there’s so much that I don’t know about and never will.
There are days when I wished beyond the stars and the moon that my girls had a grandmother that was around for them. One that would play with them and spend time with them without having to have the whole grandkid clan around. That would give them the undivided attention that they deserve.
I know that we are all put here on this Earth to serve our purpose and then we die. But what I don’t understand is why I have been left without her.
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2 comments:
Awww...so sorry you are going through this.
I understand, my brothers birthday was Sunday. He passed away at 23 from an accident.
I wanted to just crawl in a little ball, stay in the bed and cry. But I knew he would not want that, so I thought of him, talked to my family about all the funny memories.
But it did not stop my heart from silently breaking.
Know that you do not walk your journey alone!
This post touched me...my Mom will have been gone 10 years this MOther's Day. May 9th always falls on Mother's Day weekend....it's bittersweet for me since I have 2 boys, no girls, and no Mama....I empathize with many of your "wants" in the post--wanting to go shopping with your Mom, calling her, seeing her, etc. Thinking of you!
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